Wolf - Prt. 1

Sparacus posted a New Years Day "Special" on his blog, but it was frankly awful. So much so, I dedicated the next three hours of my life to rewriting it, which is a lot more time that Sparacus obviously spent on his version.

Here's the orginal version if you want to torture yourself before New Years Day: Here

So here it is:

WOLF: PART ONE
by Evans-t

It was the New Year. A time for getting drunk, a time of celebration and a time for a happy, grand start to yet another year which will normally be dominated by the utter tedium of normal life.

Ben was in his flat, putting the final bottles of booze on the living room table. Standing back, Ben looked at his fantastic (if he did say so himself) party buffet which he'd managed to cramp onto his table. There was sausage rolls, mini tuna sandwiches in triangles, and the compulsory pineapple and cheese on a cocktail stick. It might have all been a tad clichéd, but it was the New Year and there was enough beer to make his guests completely forget about the food anyway.

Ben finally decided that he had enough of admiring his frankly magnificent display, complete with a bumper pack 50 paper plates worth £1, so he opened the first bottle of wine and flopped onto his settee, pouring a generous amount of wine into his big wine glass. He clicked a button on a remote control and Ben's radio started singing out the latest Kylie album. Sure it wasn't as good as Kylie's previous stuff, but it still had a few good songs.

Meanwhile, Katie and Kyle were busy in a cramped small wine shop in the local town, looking at its vast selection of overpriced booze in green bottles. Katie pushed a rather fat woman in a tracksuit out of her way and Kyle went to apologize. Finally, after the fat woman had kindly told Kyle to “P*ss off”, Kyle went over to Katie who was now eying up her latest favourite wine of the night.

“Why exactly are we shopping for wine?” asked Kyle. “We're going to Ben's flat. It going to be filled with wine anyway.”

“We don't want to look like free loaders who go to a party with nothing, do we?” replied Katie.

“Yeah, We won't look like freeloaders when we come over with wine from the '£5 Bargain Bin?', will we?”

“Of course not. Now come on, I've made my mind up. We're going to give Ben this wine, it's French.”

“What, we're going to buy him 'La merde des poissons'?” asked Kyle, smiling.

“Yeah, what's wrong with that?”

“You put that name into Bablefish when you get home and email me what you get back.” replied Kyle, as the two finally headed into the long queue to pay.

Back at his flat, Ben was now snoring on his settee while “Two Hearts” played out of his stereo. Suddenly there was the noise from outside. It was a growling noise, followed by the noise of something running into a group of trash cans. Then there was another growling noise, and this was what finally woke Ben up from his sleep.

Ben woke up with a start, falling from his settee onto the hard floor. For a few moments he just sat there, tasting the taste of wine in his mouth and feeling dazed. He just lay on the floor for a few moments, lying on surprisingly nice feel of his carpet on his cheek, when suddenly there was yet another growling noise, this time accompanied with the sound of a door being bashed down and the sound of the people next door screaming in terror.

Finally Ben got up and, this time fully alert, he ran from his flat into the next doors flat just in time to find blood everywhere. The main hall of the flat had been painted all over with a coat of pure blood. A picture frame had been plastered with so much blood that you couldn't actually see the photo through all the red gunk.

Ben edged, or maybe slid, his way through the red hall, half way to just puking there and then. He trod on someone's intestines and was about to be sick when he heard a growl. Walking into the living room, Ben was shocked. The entire living room was yet again covered in blood, but this time the blood was accompanied by dead bodies. And the dead bodies were accompanied by a giant werewolf, it's teeth sinking into the one of the dead neighbours.

Ben was terrified. What does he do now? Well, he could sneak away and phone Torchwood, but his phone was in his flat. He could go and lock himself in his flat, but the werewolf would just be able to knock down Ben's door as well. But that last suggestion was the only sane thing Ben could do now, he couldn't save the neighbours anymore.

Backing away from the werewolf, Ben was just about to turn around when he did the worst thing he could have possibly done: He stepped on a loose floorboard which let loose the loudest creak Ben had ever heard in his life. It was a verminous creak, and it was loud enough to make the werewolf's ears prick up. The werewolf had heard Ben and was now on all fours. It had spotted Ben, and Ben ran for his life.

Ben sped out of the flats front door and ran straight through his front door, slamming the the door shut. He tried to lock the door, but his hands were trembling with fright and he couldn't even pick his key, nevermind get it in his lock. Ben finally picked the key up and turned around, just in time to see the werewolf storm through his front door, the monsters teeth shining a red colour as we lunged towards Ben's neck. Ben leapt out of the way just in time to save himself, smashing himself through the door and landing next to his beautifully laid out buffet.

The werewolf had entered the living room. It was standing halfway through the door, it's cold eyes staring straight into Ben's small, terrified soul. It was way too big for the small living room it was in. The werewolf, even in it's current crouching position, had it's back was pushing through the ceiling. It barely got itself through the door, but it had somehow managed to and it was now breathing on Ben. A small glint of saliva dripped from the werewolf's mouth and splashed on Ben's face. But then the beast got a different scent, and it looked up and got its sights on the buffet. Ben realised what it was looking at.

“Please no, not the buffet. Eat me, eat me! Not the buffet!” Ben cried.

But the werewolf ignored Ben as it leapt up, attacking the buffet and knocking it over, spraying sausage rolls and cheese and pineapple all over the floor. Ben took the chance to get up and he stared blankly at his hours of handiwork as it was devastated by a giant hungry wolf.

But now wasn't the time to cry over split sausages, Ben made to escape out of the flat that he had so idiotically ran in to in the first place, when the werewolf finished his feast and had smelt something new. The wolf went over a looked at a bowl full of Foxes mints. The wolf stared at the mints with curiosity, when went in and ate them, immediately being sent into an extreme coughing fit.

It ran around the room in extreme pain, chocking on the mints that it held distastefully in it's mouth. It finally stopped and fell to the floor. The werewolf's hair reclined, as did it's giant blood covered nose. Slowly, before Ben's widened eyes, the monster became human. A naked human, a naked man. A man who Ben had seen naked before. The monster turned into Anselm Ashmore.

Chatman Rewritten

On the OG forums lurks a dark and sinister being of pure evil. Legends say he's made out of Foxes Mints, other legends say that he's a right tit and everyone else says "Who the hell is he?"

This evil force is Ben Chatman. On the OG forum, a member called Sparacus "wrote" a sypnosis for a Doctor Who series four, and he made Ben Chatham a companion. He made up Chatham and fell in love with him, giving him his own spin off series. On problem, the stories are crap! They aren't even stories, they're syponsis' of stories.

The only problem is that the fundamental stuff in Sparacus' stories are good. His themes have the possibility to make good stories, but unfortunately his crap plots and unlikable characters (the only character I actually like is Ben's own companion Kyle) mean that the central focus and possibilites are lost in the utter crapness. They're like 7th Doctor stories, the original idea is very good nut it doesn't come out in translation.

So I've decided to rewrite some Ben Chatham episodes, to get Sparacus' original stories and re-do them in a) feature length serials other than the synopsis' and b) entertaining stories.

I'm not claiming that my stories are actually any good, but what I'm aiming to do is improve upon the orginal stories and make them half resemble a good story. Some of these stories are easy to make good (Nemesis, which is a good idea done crapply) and some will be almost impossible to do (Attack of the Zombie Teenagers, which is the worst, borderline racist against teenagers, piece of shit I've ever read in my live)

A hope you like the stories, if you do don't forget to make a comment.

Coming up soon is the omnibus edition of Nemesis.